I think that when a person works in something as personal as writing stories, their job is bound to have some fantastic high, highs, and some not-so-great lows…
A random comment from a friend last week, kicked my brain in to overdrive. Christa said, “Don’t read right now. You’re working on your own stuff. Let yourself get in that headspace and stay there.” And then a talk from Allie on projects we were working on together, where I was reminded how much I LOVE the worlds i create. And then Nyrae and I talked about publishing and how little control we have, which actually pushed me forward.
And suddenly I was laughing and giddy at how my messy project was shaping up, at how many words I was writing a day in my Mia Josephs books, and how 2 or 3 other projects jumped out at me, and I knew how to tell those stories as well. I had a few days where I wanted to write all the words on all the things.
But the simplest things make me question everything.
A few not-so-great reviews that I didn’t mean to read. (On a side note. I love that I’ve given my books enough thought to know that I feel good about each and every decision I’ve made white writing). And even notes in reviews that had exactly zero to do with me, but that I still can’t comment on b/c we all know that’s author suicide. So, even though some of the problems weren’t mine, and even though I don’t care if someone else likes the choices I made, it does make me question my choices on the next book…
So, after all this, I jumped back into the MS I’ve been wrestling with, and I don’t know if it’s good. At all. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. This happened to me with Knee Deep, and reception of that book was (for the most part) awesome. I don’t trust myself as to whether or not this MS is good enough.
I no longer get to write in a bubble. After going through the submission process and going through the editing process, I think about ALL the things – What will an editor say? What will the reviewers say? How would/could my publisher market this? Is this idea a big enough for publication?
And at this point, I wanna walk away from all that and just self-publish and write books for fun, but that part of me who wants to be published and on bookshelves won’t quiet down.
I think it’s my unfailing optimism, that sometimes I wish would fail.
It’s also this time of year where we’re somewhere between winter and spring and will be for at LEAST another 6 weeks.
I do know that when I slip down, I just need to move forward the best I can until I’m back on top again. And most likely it will be one small comment, or one little realization, or, or, or… Who knows what.
I think I’m going to go and test out that theory right now…
How do you pull yourself through slumps?
P.S. I wonder how many posts I’ve written with a similar title. Probably I don’t want to know…